She’s fierce. She’s fearless. She’s the most elite version of herself.

In February 2020, Ryan Stewman released a book that ended up on the Amazon Best Seller’s list. It’s called “G-Code: How to stay super focused in a world full of distractions.” I bought the book as soon as it came out and have given several copies of it to friends and listeners of my radio show since.

I had been following Ryan since 2018 when we both ended up in a Facebook group for people who were verified on Facebook. Ryan ended up saving my ass big time in 2019, which I’ll talk about in another blog post next week.

Ryan had been to prison, had gone through multiple divorces, had many things go wrong in his life and he still managed to push through and become very successful. It didn’t come easy for him though. He did the work every day to make his dreams possible.

He launched a website called Daily G-Code which is actually a free web app that I recommend everyone out there uses every day. I use it every day now myself with the intent of maxing out with 4 points every day. Here’s the link.

Anyway, in the book, “G-Code: How to stay super focused in a world full of distractions,” Ryan has an exercise where you stand up and close your eyes and relax. Then you take a step to the side with your eyes closed and imagine yourself standing where you were.

“Now, imagine that you clearly see the image of the most elite version of yourself standing next to you. What does that version of yourself look like?” – page 27.

But it doesn’t stop with the looks. It goes on to envision what this person wants, how much they are loved by others, who they are surrounded with, genetics, and more.

It’s an eye-opening exercise that will change your life. I’m not going to give it all way on this post but you get the idea. Buy the book if you’re interested in it. This exercise isn’t even 1% of the life-changing information in the book.

Now with me, being born male, you would probably imagine that I would see a 6 foot, 185-pound man with not an inch of fat, shaved face, ripped abs, wearing a Brioni Vanquish suit that is tailored perfectly within millimeters, maybe with Santoni Leather Lace-Up shoes, a Rolex watch, and you get the drift.

That’s not what envisioned though. At the time, this scared me. I thought that there was no way I would ever be able to become who I saw as the most elite version of myself.

I saw a fierce, fearless, tall, long-haired blonde woman who was perfectly fit, who radiated brilliance, with eyes that could bring people to their knees with a glance. She weighed 160 pounds without a shred of fat on her. She had confidence. She was a showstopper. She was loved. She was compassionate. She had empathy for people. She was strong. She knew who she was. She was Mikaela.

How in the fuck was this supposed to happen? There was no way. I would lose my kids. I would lose my wife. I would lose my family. I would lose my friends. I would lose my job. I would lose everything and end up with nothing if I became the most elite version of myself, so I thought.

So, I settled with the most elite version of myself that I thought most people would imagine I should be, the male version. So, I got started and how far did I get?

Nowhere.

I didn’t want to be that version. There was zero motivation. I actually started going backward. I gained ten more pounds and was carrying a gut around with me everywhere I went. I didn’t eat healthily. I didn’t exercise. I became even more depressed.

I joined Apex Entourage a year later and saw the people who were doing the exercises, which are a clear roadmap to success if you do the work, prospering and living incredible lives.

But I was stuck. I talked with a few people in Apex and got enough motivation to launch a few new podcasts last year, but inside I truly wasn’t feeling it and stopped them both after a few episodes. I wasn’t doing the work. I wasn’t doing anything. I was going through the motions of life still, trapped in an existence that I thought I could never escape from.

The period of my life after joining Apex in May of last year and before I started transitioning in November was like having a chance to play in the Super Bowl but only having a choice of staying on the bench or playing for the wrong team. Those were my options at that point. It was a cruel joke. I seriously thought that life was a cruel joke.

Then, in November of 2021, thanks to my wife, who had fully realized that I was not living my destiny by this point, things changed. She had realized that this was more than just some weird fetish or something. She realized that this was who I was at my core. She promised me that she would have my back if I transitioned and that I wouldn’t lose my kids and the thought of transition became a reality.

My family unit is the most important thing to me. I would live as a male and just be miserable and depressed for the rest of my probably short life if it ended up coming down to keeping them or losing them, which would have been a terrible sacrifice in its own with less than desirable results for all of us.

This coversation hit me like a ton of bricks. I was greenlighted. I realized that there was a way out of the trap that I was stuck in. Suddenly, there was a way out my own prison and my wife handed me the key. It wouldn’t be easy. I would probably lose some friends, but they weren’t friends anyway if I did.

I might have to give up my radio job and career but as long as I had my wife and kids still, that was ok. I became willing to sacrifice almost everything to become who I am meant to be.

So with an almost black cloud of fear blocking all views in front of me, there I stood. I knew that no matter what happened, my wife and kids would be on the other side of that cloud. All I had to do was walk through it. It was the scariest thing that I’ve ever done in my life.

One trembling step after another, I slowly stepped through the thick black cloud of fear. I came out to my family, my friends, my job, and then after a few sessions with a therapist, I came out publicly.

It was terrifying and dark. But, as I was cautiously stepping through that cloud, with each bit of movement, I felt something. I could suddenly start to see the light on the other side of that cloud, and as the light got brighter, I could feel freedom. I could feel relief. And suddenly about 2 months later, the cloud of fear and bullshit had disappeared. I was finally free to become the most elite version of myself that I had seen in February 2020.

Now I’m on the other side of that cloud. My true family stayed. My true friends stayed. My job didn’t blink an eye. They had and have my back. The community that I live in completely embraced me for who I am.

The facts are, that I could not get anywhere worth going, without being honest with everyone about who I am and getting in alignment with who I am at my core.

I’m eating healthy now. I’m exercising every day. I’m completing at least part of the Daily G Code app every day. I’m motivated. My family is happy and my bills are paid.

I am not afraid, nor ashamed of my past and no longer run from it. The chains of self-bondage have been shattered.

My spiritual relationship with God is better than it ever has been and I now feel like I’m living with purpose and intention.

My life has become incredible. I wake up at 3 AM every morning now because I am actually excited to see what the day will bring.

Back in 2019, Ryan had told me that his movement could change my life in 6 months if I gave it a chance. What’s November minus May? You do the math.

I am on the path to becoming the most elite version of myself.

One Reply to “She’s fierce. She’s fearless. She’s the most elite version of herself.”

Leave a Reply