Core Value 8: I’m loyal to the people who are loyal to me

This has been a tough one for me to write because It’s not going to come off well, but it’s one of my strongest core values so I’ll just be blunt with it.

I’m loyal to the people who are loyal to me.

If I know that you have my back, 100% without fail, I will stop at nothing to have your back, as long as it doesn’t break my core value number 2, which is “Honesty and Integrity are the foundation for everything I do,” or any of my other core values for that matter.

The people who are closest to me know that I provide an extreme amount of value to them. In many cases, I put them first and myself second.

This goes for personal, professional, business, and so on. Once you get my loyalty, you have an asset on your side that is there for you 24/7/365.

My loyalty cannot be bought. It must be earned, and most people start off with a pretty high amount.

In many cases throughout my life, the loyalty has not been mutual. I have been guilty of being loyal to some for much longer than I should have.

Coming out as transgender was one of the most eye-opening experiences that I have ever had.

I found out that a handful of people that I have been very loyal to for 20-30 years or more did not have my back. I could name them, but they could have named themselves 20-30 years ago.

Coincidentally, a lot of them were the same people that I knew before did not have it and it was great in some cases and very painful in others to finally get a clear picture and distinguish who was true and who wasn’t. Some did surprise me though, mostly in positive ways.

The people who bounced lost my loyalty and they won’t be getting it back anytime soon, or ever in some cases.

The people who stayed have my loyalty though and I am so grateful for them. Around 99% stayed around so I must have done a pretty good job at picking my circle and I’m very lucky to have great people in my life.

In the past though, I’ve been in situations where I spent a lot of my time and resources giving people extreme amounts of value expecting nothing in return or very little, and when I realized that the loyalty was not mutual I stopped providing the value and they turned on me. These people were not my friends from the beginning, nor ever planned to be.

They were taking advantage of my kindness. They were “playing” me for their own benefit. It’s kind of humiliating to think about actually.

They were on the “teet” and when the free milk ended due to their own actions, life got hard for them and they blamed me for it, in some cases trashing my name to others.

But the others always eventually see through it as long as doing the right thing is always first and foremost.

It’s also always better to cut someone off earlier than later if absolutely needed before they depend on your loyalty too much and too many emotions come into play during the split.

Loyalty must always be a two-way street. Loyalty must be earned and loyalty and trust go hand in hand.

I am loyal to the people who are loyal to me.

Whew! Now that we got that one out of the way, we can move on to Core Value 9: “I deserve every good thing that happens to me.”

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