Still the same person, just much happier and with purpose

I’m probably going to cry several times writing this, because I know there are a LOT of people out there who will never get to experience completely living their truth like I get to every day and I’m so grateful.

To anyone out there who is afraid of expressing their true identity, whatever that may be, I get it. I empathize with you because I spent the majority of my life right where you’re at now. I know what it feels like and I’m here for you whether you ever decide to wrestle with the external world or not. I’m here for you.

I seriously was expecting to instantly crash and burn within days when I first came out back in December of last year. It was at the point to where that didn’t matter, because I was crashing and burning every second of my existence.

My name is Mikaela Taylor. I’m a 39-year-old trans-woman living in the Texas Hill Country, probably the most conservative place on earth. I’m married with the most beautiful wife ever and we have 5 amazing, beautiful kids. I have a solid radio career at the best group of radio stations on earth with the best co-host a girl could ever ask for — The Great Radkowski. I’m a REALTOR® at a company who welcomed me with open arms and shares the same core values of Excellence, Accountability, and Integrity.

This year hasn’t been without heartache. Some of the people that I have been closest to my entire life, coincidentally the same people who I was living a fake life for before, are no longer around. That has been the toughest part by far.

But there is something aligning with the foundation of your soul that is more rewarding than pretty much anything I’ve ever experienced. I feel like I’ve unlocked cheat codes in life. It’s an incredible feeling of joy that I carry around now when it used to be frustration, envy, hopelessness, and depression.

I didn’t ask to be transgender. This wasn’t something that I wanted. I was ashamed of it. I tried everything I could think of to overcome this without transitioning but nothing worked. I was a miserable human being trapped in an existence that I didn’t want.

I truly didn’t understand how people could be happy. I thought everybody was faking it. Every once in a while, I would see those people with genuine smiles or I would run across someone that hadn’t been beat down and ran through the wringer of life, who was full of hope and thriving with and without material possessions, but they were few and far between.

I didn’t expect to be accepted everywhere by almost everyone. Actually, I expected the exact opposite. I expected to be harassed and ostracized from everything I was previously involved in. Coming out literally felt like jumping off of a cliff with nothing to land in but steaming hot lava.

But a few things came into play. First off, the people in my immediate circles immediately insulated me from any outside negativity which really helped. Second, while the community didn’t really understand, they embraced me for who I am. I still don’t understand exactly what happened and why this happened, but it happened.

The more I think about it, the more I think that when we are genuine and authentic, it raises confidence which in turn is the biggest power move that one can make in life and it’s attractive. We find our stride in life and that’s when the magic happens.

There was also something else though. I had to stop caring what other people thought of me. I know there are people out there don’t like me simply because they don’t like transgender people or maybe I upset them back in day or something. I had to realize that whatever they are mad about is their problem, not mine.

Now with that being said, it’s always important to make amends and have accountability when you are in the wrong and then promptly move on after and not dwell on it. Failure is an important element to success. Toddlers don’t just start walking. They fall down many times along the way. Adults fall down many times too and it’s ok.

When we become who we were put on this earth to be, we find our purpose and then the real positive change can begin in our lives and those around us.

They say that happiness is a virtue. I agree with that statement, but I also think that it goes deeper than just exercising virtue. I believe it comes from digging deep and accepting yourself for whoever you are, for or against all odds, in no current or a raging tsunami, with or without support, blind or all-seeing.

I also believe that happiness comes from being grateful of those around us, what we have, our situations, opportunities, and our life.

And finally, faith is the ultimate source of happiness. I am not a religious person, even though I am a believer in Jesus Christ, but I don’t impose my views on others or judge them for being different. Without faith, we have nothing.

One of my great wise friends told me one time when I was going through Hell personally due to internal and external battles that “No matter what, everything is going to be ok.” This statement has helped me through so much but it is a statement of faith.

Maybe deep down I knew that everything was going to be ok. Maybe faith is the reason that I’m sitting here on the other side of the scariest experience of my life writing this blog post right now.

Faith, courage, lots of reassurance, a village of great people, gratefulness, integrity, and a combination of many more elements have led to the point that I am at.

I have a mission, and for the first time in my life, I have happiness. And here’s what a lot of people don’t understand. I’m still the same person. I still make witty jokes about everything. I’m still interested in the same things. I’m just much happier now because the internal struggle that I used to fight minute-by-minute is gone. I’m free to be me, finally.

Do the work. Get down to the nitty gritty if you need to. In my case, I didn’t have to. I knew what the problem was the entire time.

Be authentic!

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